The most wonderful time of the year!

For discussion this time:

1. The obligatory post.
2. What is it about this time of year?
3. The joy of singlemas.

As the winter season approaches faster than that train in the creepy christmas train movie with computer Tom Hanks, it is high time I make my annual declaration of singleness (and disatisfaction about that) to the world.  Like the queen's speech, this annual address has echoed for years (mostly in my head before I had a blog, and possibly on my old blog which I can't find) but the story never changes. In a shocking return to personal life blogging, this christmas period truly is best served ice cold.

 

The stereotypes are true!  Everywhere, everybody is in a couple!  Not an exageration at all.  I've spent another year predominantly lone wolfing but without sheep to hunt.  Not to suggest I'm the butt of a welsh based sheep joke (please ignore the word butt).  In the past month everyone seems to be developing the need for a lady (or a man) and the topic of relationships or this person or that person comes up more and more regularly.  Though this can be difficult for me to detect, in the haze of my listenings to lusty and loving Prince tracks from 30 years, but its definitely on the rise.  In the warm months it all goes to shit, but apparently now is the time for cuddly warm rendez-vous.  Is that the only reason?  I don't know.  At the time of year I contemplate my achievements and future goals, I find myself wondering if I already met that special lady, but probably not because she's probably coupled up.

The power of beng single at Christmas has its advantages.  Certainly you have fewer obligations, but if you're a tight git like me you also have less spending to do!  Christmas is pretty silly if you think about it, I even considered abolishing gift giving in the family the other day (spend the money you would spend on others on yourself, and you will feel guilty).  But alas I shall continue to mainstream and enjoy the bounty of another year's existence.  You also get to spend all the time in the world hanging out with your single friends, many of whom I'm blessed with (for better or worse depending on their own worldview).  It's always a little simpler too, and your emotions can be focused on how maddening this family gathering is and how much you fucking hate Shrek.

An appropriate song I just discovered.  Sums it up quite well.  Have a great December, there's a light at the end of the tunnel!

Clubs RELOADED

I was very impressed by the quality of written communication in the following blogs on the club scene.  Here Mini gives an informative analysis of the flyers, aluding to the culture Anne describes.  Dan takes the cake with a blow by blow account of why clubs so often blow.  I often find myself wondering why I'm not like other students running around town drunk as if its a social experience so good you'll risk the most godawful feeling the morning after, physically if not also emotionally.  But in a conversation with a friend, I think I hit the nail upon the head.  Thanks Dan, you have inspired me.  Edited for clarity, content hasn't been touched.

No Rihanna.... no....

You doing anything this weekend?

I think I'm writing an essay given lack of other options

Ohh dear

Not going out?

weekend is shit in York

Really?

yeah

I don't like anywhere enough to go there when it isn't a student night

Hmm

Don't meet anybody though...

you meet people in clubs?

Occasionally

no scope for conversation

Yeah, but your generally pissed as a fart and looking for something to hump at that point...

which is exactly not my m.o.

its a hollow place full of hollow people

drenched in hollow music

Thanks for that...

I don't mean people in clubs are hollow people all the time

but if as you say everyone is at that state of drunkenness they are only after sex

then you have totally eliminated the thing that makes them interesting and human

and you're left with a homogenised crowd of people

they are probably totally different in their day to day

Hmm

so if you're out to meet individuals

the club is not a place to do so

because you can't really meet the person

I have been out 1 time in York this term.  I guess I enjoy being fresh faced and enjoying a long day's work or relaxation more than the drunken, forgotten euphoria that night outs are supposed to entail. And while I can understand having drunken shenanigans with your buds, a club is not the place to expand your social circle in a meaningful way.  Not that I'm good at doing it teetotal.

Some vintage funk with an appropriately named Gil Scott Heron cover.

NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER

This one has been on the backburner for a little while.  For want of another discussion topic (and believe me, the killing off of dictators and 'evil men' is something I will talk about one day, to someone), we're gonna turn to one of my most central precepts.  You might call it rule 1.

Kudos to you if you know why this is relevant.

Rule 1: Never Settle

In life I think we have a lot of choices to make which can obviously be as simple as which type of crips you are gonna get in your meal deal in Sainsbury's or as complicated as selecting a life partner.  You might go for ready salted because there were no roast chicken crisps, and this would be kind of disappointing but would leave little lasting effect.  Still, if chicken crisps were what you were after and within grasp, why not strive for that?  On the other hand, if the object of your desires has an intractable character flaw or you're just not as compatible as you would like, you may feel like you can't finish this relationship and find someone better suited to your antisocial quirks.  It might be true, depending on what you believe.  To inject some necessary platitudes there are plenty of fish in the sea, if you love someone set them free (thanks for the save Sting) blah blah blah.  Point remains, if there is a possibility of getting a better deal, or essentially of being happier and more satisfied, change it up and aim for success rather than settling for something which is acceptable.

I have simplified a lot of things there, and of course it can be dangerous to continually stop settling.  There is a danger of 'grass is always greener'ing (another marvellous platitude there for you).  But I feel like my point stands that if you know you can do something, and it is the best thing to do, then you should let nothing stop you! Hell, even if you're not sure you can make a difference, why not try?  If it should be done, let it be done!  Where would we be if we decided that the boundaries of what we know or think were insurmountable and that we could not innovate or push out.  I would not be writing a blog for one.  It might take great effort but you know what they say, a change is as good as a rest. 


This has got awfully convoluted already.  I'm gonna try and be clearer from now on.

To summarise: compromise can be a helpful tool in negotiation, and a necessity in life.  It can in fact help you get the best deal possible.  BUT reserve your compromise until your other options to gain the upper hand have been exhausted, because without trying to improve, to reach your goals and to reach the peak of satisfaction compromise is merely a hollow gesture that will remind you of what could have been and what you are missing.  This past week I read a quotation from Karl Pilkington which resonated.

"Your dreams should never be better than your life. Unless you're a sloth. Cos then you're asleep most the time."

 Now take your Acid Jazz to reinforce the possibilities of your mind.  And get out.